Q1. What is modern parenting? How is parenting evolving for today's children?
Every new generation of parents has ‘modern parented’. This simply means that with additional information and research from behavioural therapists, neuroscientists and other research parents shift their parenting style. Dr Benjamin Spock used to be the ‘guru’ of parenting. Today we have multiple gurus. Parenting has evolved according to time and trends of the era we live in. For example our grandparents and schools back then thought it is okay to hit children when children did something wrong so that the same action or behaviour is not repeated again. ‘Spare the rod and spoil the child’ used to be a pet phrase once upon a time. Over the years researchers proved that hitting children is detrimental and then came the era of Time Outs. We are now in the era of ‘Time Ins’ where children are treated like adults and they choose their consequences for inappropriate behaviour.
Q2. What are the modern parenting methods?
Diana Barmund, a clinical and developmental psychologist propagated the theory of different parenting styles. She began with three types to which researchers later on added a fourth dimension:
? Authoritative parenting
? Authoritarian parenting
? Permissive parenting
? Negligent parenting
? There is a 5th kind of parenting Helicopter Parenting where the parent pays extremely close attention to their child's experiences and problems at school. This parent solves all their child’s problems, anticipates and meets all their needs and ‘over manages’ everything that their child is involved with.
Q3. What are the issues of modern parenting?
Parents in metropolitan cities today are very busy. In most scenarios both parents work, add to this we have a whole load of distractions available like get-togethers, social media, Netflix and more. Parents are spending less time with their children by the day. Also Children are addicted to the same things as well. Everybody talks to each other virtually now. However we have forgotten to communicate face to face.
Loving indulgent parents can be sending messages from the time their children are babies that will affect the outcome of their child’s life. I began my research that would lead me to an understanding of the conscious and subconscious programming of the mind. This made me very mindful of the stories I would feed my son as I realized his future would depend on this. To help him create a great life I had to tell him the correct stories.
Q4. Explain the pressure today’s kids face and how childhood is getting suppressed under performance pressure?
Children do not play anymore, physical interaction is on an all time low. This leads to loneliness and studies show that depression is on the rise in children.
Other than the normal pressure of performing in academics and extracurricular activities, today’s children have added pressure as they look for extrinsic motivation in the form of social medial to get approval and to feel appreciated. This includes being popular on social media. Their picture needs to get the maximum likes and comments etc. Children today are dieting to look good in pictures, they are putting up a pretence to be liked by everybody.
Parents and schools need to work towards providing children with a stable environment, where children will look for intrinsic motivation.